Icha Icha Injection
by Lazy Eyes Conway
Summary: Post-Valley of the End.  Sasuke has been located.  Naruto is off to get him.  Orochimaru is about test a loyalty serum on Sasuke.  What will happen?  Naruto/Epic Harem.  Please Review. -On Hiatus-
1. The Snake's Mistake

Fanfic Title: Icha Icha Injection

Main Characters: Naruto

Universe: Naruto universe

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><p><span>Chapter 1: The Snake's Mistake<span>

*Third Person*

Oto Base

Sasuke was angry. No, not angry, Furious. And for once in a very long time, it was not at Itachi. It was at himself.

'How could I have been such an idiot' he thought, looking at the floor of his cell. 'I should never have continued on to join Orochimaru after I was released from that sealed box. That seal must have been controlling me. Now they probably see me as a traitor, and I may have killed Naruto. No, he wouldn't die that easy, the fox won't let him. I should never have let my revenge lead to this end. They were right. Kakashi, Sakura, even the dobe. They tried to keep me from doing this, but I would listen. Now, I'm probably going to pay.'

Sasuke's thoughts were cut short as several snakes slithered into the room. Wrapping themselves around his body, the largest one spoke. "Orochimaru has an experiment wants to test on you, Boy. Walk the path we tell you to and we won't bite you." The snake said as it wrapped around Sasuke's neck. "Now march."

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><p><span>Hokage Tower<span>

"Jiraiya, Naruto, I'm sorry to call you back so early in your training, but I believe we've found Sasuke's location." Said Tsunade, as she sat at her desk.

"Really, Baa-chan! So we're going to try and bring Sasuke back." Cheered Naruto.

"That's right, Naruto. I'm sending you, Sakura, and Kakashi to bring him back. Depending on what he's been doing since his defection, we'll decide on his punishment once you've brought him back. Jiraiya will be coming with you in case you encounter Orochimaru in the process of acquiring Sasuke." Said Tsunade.

"When do we leave, Hokage-sama?" said Sakura.

"Immediately" was the reply.

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><p><span>Oto Base<span>

"Hello, Sasuke-kun. How are you today." Asked Orochimaru. His eyes watched Sasuke's every move. Soon, very soon, that body would be his, and he would be unable to die.

"Like you care, you B**t**d." came the reply. Sasuke was strapped to the table by the snake summons.

"Of course, I care Sasuke-kun. If you're not feeling well, then something might be wrong with your body. And we can't have that now, can we?" said Orochimaru with a wide smirk. He turned away from Sasuke to prepare the test.

"Now, today's test is one that will make things much easier for us in the future. You get to be the first test subject for my new loyalty serum. I hope it doesn't hurt you. At least not too much." Said Orochimaru, as he prepared the serum.

Kabuto enters the room and begins to prep Sasuke for the injection. Then the alarms go off.

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><p><span>Elsewhere in the Oto Base<span>

Two days of searching for the base and planning the attack might now be wasted thanks to Naruto's antics. "We have to hurry. They could be escaping right now." Shouted Kakashi.

"We're coming Sasuke." Thought Naruto and Sakura.

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><p><span>With Sasuke<span>

Sasuke fell into unconsciousness as the serum took effect. "Orochimaru-sama, we don't have enough time to move Sasuke. They are almost here." Yelled Kabuto.

"Damn! Oh well. Sasuke's injection takes a few minutes to activate, but it has a ten mile radius of detection. Who ever has the highest chakra levels in that radius when the serum is injected is whom he will be loyal to. So, we can leave now. He'll come when he is ready to learn the way to gain his revenge." Said Orochimaru, as he and Kabuto evacuated the room.

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><p><span>With Naruto<span>

"I can't sense Orochimaru or Kabuto anymore, but Sasuke's chakra is up ahead. It's weird though, it feels like something is messing with it." Said Jiraiya, as the group of ninja rushed to Sasuke's location.

Finding the lab, Naruto rushed in narromly avoiding the traps he set off as he entered. He looked around as Sasuke began to stir on a nearby lab table. As the others entered, Sakura rushed forward a gave the half-conscious Sasuke a hug. "Sasuke-k…" she began and then stopped. The others looked curiously over at her wondering what had saved their eardrums.

Only two things were thought or said after that for several minutes after that. The first was said by Sasuke. "Hello, Sage Jiraiya, Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-san, Naruto-sama." The other was thought by the rescue party as a whole. 'What happened? Sasuke's a girl!'

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><p>Please Review and see the poll!<p> 


	2. One piece of paper

Fanfic Title: Icha Icha Injection

Main Characters: Naruto

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><p>Chapter 2: One piece of paper<p>

*Third Person*

The trip back from the rescue mission was a relatively uneventful one and, at the same time, mostly silent. The shock of Sasuke becoming a girl had been too much for Sakura to take all at once, and she had curled into the fetal position when she finally let go of him/ her. She remained that way for most of the return trip and had to be carried by Jiraiya.

Meanwhile, Sasuke had become rather attached to friend and rival Naruto and spend most of the return trip standing either right next to him or within arms length of him. While Naruto was still rather oblivious to the possible implications of the situation, Jiraiya and Kakashi were keeping a close eye on the Uchiha.

Arriving at the gates of the village, the group of five was met by a five man squad of Anbu to escort the group to the Hokage. Upon arrival they knocked and entered revealing a sleeping Tsunade at her desk.

Naruto walked to her side and took a breath. "Hey, Baa-chan! Wake up!" he yelled. Tsunade jolted awake and reflexively sent Naruto out of a nearby.

"Opps." She said. They waited a few minutes so that Naruto could return and be healed before continuing. After reitterating the mission for Tsunade, though stopping slightly before the part when Orochimaru and Kabuto fled, Tsunade stood up from her desk and spoke. "I see that the mission was a failure, then. Aside from this young lady, there are no other people with you so I must asume that you didn't find Sasuke." Tsunade said.

"Baa-chan, this is Sasuke. The Hebi-teme did something to him and now he's a girl." Said Naruto. "Damn, I guessed as much. This is not really so much a problem as it is an irratation. While Sasuke is now returned and I can probably clear up any problem he has caused so far as long as feels regret for his actions, there is the matter of the council. While the Ninja Clan Heads are loyal to me, the civilians and the advisors will probably use this chance to use a CRA on Sasuke." Said Tsunade, looking mildly irritated.

"What is a CRA, Baa-chan?" Naruto asked, slightly curious. "Usually, Naruto, the CRA is an act used to rebuild a dying clan, by giving a male of the clan multiple wives. However, if the only member in the clan is female, the council will set her up on dates with males from noble families to have her decide who she wants to marry. Originally, when Sasuke was the villages only loyal _male_ Uchiha, the council was going to let him kill Itachi before initiating the CRA. Now that he/ she is considered unloyal and is now a woman, he/ she may not have that choice. The advisors and the civilians will want to keep him/ her in the vilolage at all cost. They probably think that their plan will ground him/ her and make him/ her more useful to them." Said Tsunade with a sigh.

"But Sasuke shouldn't be forced to do that, Baa-chan. Hebi-teme and Kabuto-teme did this to him." Said Naruto, fearing slightly for his friend. "I know that Naruto and that is why I'm going to do something Sarutobi-sensei should have done long ago. I know he made the best decision at the time, but he should have fixed this problem before he kicked the bucket. Shizune, get me that prewritten edict, number 43. Naruto, you may both like and not like what I'm about to do, but it will help keep your friend away from those jackels on the council." Said Tsunade. Shizune left the room and return a few minutes later with a scroll with four seals on it. Naruto and Sasuke were asked to step forward.

"This scroll was written by the Fourth Hokage, a week before his death while defeating the Nine Tailed Fox. It was an agreement that may have prevented the Uchiha massacre, had it been used at the time. The things I am about to tell the five of you are all S-ranked secrets. Tell them to anyone, even you Naruto for some of them, and I'll be forced to have you executed. First off, the Kyuubi. Despite the legends told about the Kyuubi's defeat at the hands of the Fourth Hokage, The Fourth was unable to kill the Kyuubi. He instead sealed away the Fox's power into a new born baby. That baby was Naruto." After a few moments of silence for the shocked Sasuke and Sakura, Tsunade continued.

"Next is Uchiha Massacre. While it is true that Itachi became a criminal for wiping out your clan and then defecting from the village, apart from the defection, the was a mission given to him by the advisors. The Uchiha, or at least a fair number of them, were planning a hostile takeover of the village, so the advisors had him wipeout the clan, thinking that they could then control him and have him rebuild the clan the way they wanted him to. Unfortunately, that plan failed for them. Itachi thought far enough ahead to realise what the advisors were planning, so he left Sasuke alive and angry, so that the advisors couldn't activate the CRA and had to wait until Sasuke killed Itachi to try and control him."

"The Third secret I am going to tell you all is about Naruto's heritage. Naruto, had two wonderful parents that would have loved to have raised you, but they both died the night of the Kyuubi's attack on the village. Your mother's name was Kushina Uzumaki. She was one the best ninjas in the village, but sadly she died when the hospital she was in collapsed. We never found her body. The only reason you were lucky enough to survive the collapse was that you were with your father at the time. His name was Minato Namikaze or, as he is better known, the Fourth Hokage. I'll answer questions about Minato and Kushina later, Naruto, but for now just realise that you are the son of two clans, both of which you are the only member of." Pausing again to take a breath, Tsunade continued.

"Finally, we come to the last secret and that is this scroll here. Sarutobi-sensei, Minato-san, Kushina-san, and an unknown elder from the Uchiha clan sealed this scroll shortly before the deaths of Minato and Kushina. Naruto, Sasuke, please place some blood on your clan seals, while I place some on the Hokage seal." The three ninja did so and the scroll unroll itself.

"This" Tsunade said "is a marriage/alliance contract between the Namikaze, the Uzumaki, and the Uchiha clans. It states that when the child of the Namikaze and the Uzumaki clans comes of age, he can marry a female member of the Uchiha clan. Should anything happen to Minato and Kushina, the Uchiha were to take in their child and raise him in the ways of all three clans. Sadly, because of Sarutobi-sensei's law about not talking about the Kyuubi to the younger generation, the people would have thrown a fit if the person they saw as a monster was given a title, so sensei put this contract aside for the time being, in the hopes of anouncing Naruto's heritage when he got older. Sadly, he died in the Chunin exams, and never got the chance to do so. Now, I will do it in his place. Tomorrow, I'll a council metting to annouce three things." Tsunade said this with a dark chuckle, and the ninja in front of her took a step or two back.

"What would those three things be, Baa-chan." Said a worried Naruto. "The first will be to announce Sasuke's return, as well as his new condition. That one everyone should be fine with. The second will the announcement of Naruto's heritage. It'll be a laugh to watch the looks on the civilians and the advisors faces. The last one is the one you're not going to like." Tsunade paused for dramatic effect, then turned to Naruto and said the words that would only change his life but the ninja world as they knew.

"Naruto, unless we find a way to change Sasuke back to normal in the next twelve hours, I am announcing your Betrothal to Sasuke Uchiha."

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><p>Second chapter complete.<p>

I hope you like it.

Please Review and See the Poll.

Thank you for your time.

-L. E. Conway


	3. That place called Home

Chapter 3: That Place called Home

The reactions of those present were varying. Sakura began to foam at the mouth and fell to the floor, Shizune quick coming to her aid. Jiraiya remained calm, he knew most of this already. Kakashi's right eye expanded to the size of a plate and Sasuke, while slightly suprised by the information about the Uchiha Massacre, seemed to be at peace with the other info given. Naruto remained silent, and after a few moments of complete silence, Jiraiya walked over and found that Naruto had fainted standing up.

While Jiraiya and Shizune attempted to revive the fallen members of team seven, Tsunade turned her attention to Sasuke and Kakashi. "As it appears that Sasuke, while female, is back relatively to normal, I would like to know what you can tell me about what happened to you." Said Tsunade, in a serious tone.

"Kabuto-teme came into my cell yesterday and told me that something in my body was beginning to reject Hebi-teme's control seal. Therefore, they had worked up a new formula to make me loyal to Hebi-teme again, this was the result of the formula." Replied Sasuke.

"Wait, but you said the formula was supposed to make you loyal to Orochimaru. Why are you not seeking him out and coming quietly with us?" asked Kakashi, his eye having returned to normal. "Hebi-teme had only administered the injection moments before your arrival. Aside from the feminization, which I don't think he knew would happen, the formula was meant to have me attach myself to the strongest chakra signal in the area and identify it as my master. What Hebi-teme and Kabuto-teme didn't know was that Naruto-sama was on the mission to save me, and he has the highest chakra signal in all of the leaf village, as well as being higher than Hebi-teme's chakra." Sasuke stated.

"So you recognize Naruto as your master?" asked Tsunade. "Yes. While I still see him as the dobe I've known for years, the serum seem to have made it so that I feel I must treat him with respect." Replied Sasuke.

"Well, this is good news in a way. When you defected, someone we have been unable to identify set fire to most of the Uchiha complex. All that was left was one building filled with scroll of Uchiha only techniques. We had them moved to the Hokage mansion for safe keeping, but that last remaining building is far too old for anyone to be living in. So, since Naruto is about become a clan heir, and you two are most likely going to be getting married if we can't fix this situation, I'm going to move the two of you into the Namikaze estate to live." Said Tsunade.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama." Said Sasuke. "Now that we are through with that; Shizune, please take Sakura some where to rest off the shock, and then get back to your desk. Jiraiya, you know the way to the Namikaze mansion, so take Naruto there, and then collect anything of value from his apartment and take it there. Then I want you back here to take Sasuke there as well. After that, you are to stay there until Naruto is thinking straight again. Kakashi, you are dismissed for the day, go home and rest. Sasuke, I need a blood sample from you, so please follow me." Said Tsunade, and with that, the people went their separate ways.

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><p>Short chapter. By the way, I'm almost to the part every one is waiting for: the sex. If its not in the next chapter, then it will in chapter 5. Until then.<p> 


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